Come Inside

Come inside,

Let me take your ego.

Have a seat give your ambition a rest.

Put down the mirror

And look at me please-

Toss the keys to prosperity on the nightstand

And love me tonight

 

Let me brush aside that contradiction

Here, take a sip of warm desire

-it’s not bad to accept.

Rest your arms on the pillows of my thighs and breathe.

 

It wasn’t that long ago—-remember?

Let the world go back to work.

Speak to me in soothing wafts of perfumed contentment.

I’ll draw closed the curtains on your reality…

And we can believe in us tonight.

 

–wear this happiness like a peaceful shroud.

Mind over Matter

Somewhere between the silence of night and day, you appeared.

Quietly. and like a cloud that hovers suspended too low to be  part of the summer sky, too grey to be real, too close to touch, not really there, you hover in my mind somewhere in the background. Watching me.

how to explain the need to see your photograph, to read your words.

Little pieces of something. The random drops from that same cloud, too few to quench a thirst, or broad to give shade. But they linger. And tempt me.

And I would rather have you appear throughout the day in my travels on some indiscriminate road when I look to the sky for relief from the noise of the world around me. A silver form placed off to the right and centered, just for me. I see angels in the background, as I feel your breathe on my cheek.

If I wanted I could reach out and touch  the surface, if I could believe I could close my grip and feel the substance of so much strange emotion. To soften  my edges and give me comfort.

If I could touch your hands, and feel the tender release of so many defenses. Hold them until substance is emotion. I could hold them to my lips and in silence find peace.

Like that single floating form in my illusion’s caress, let everything I feel that you could be absorb into my frame and stir something like a kiss on my lips.

Yielding everything, being nothing.

It’s better that way.

“IF”

If I take you to dinner will you take me to bed?

If I take you to church will you forgive me?

If I let you sleep in will you cook me breakfast?

If I answer the phone will you call back?

Again?

Take this dance and make it as awkward and unnecessary as the future
called “the morning after.”

Take my hopes
and scream them aloud
in the wake of every failure, of every destruction of dream my dream of
love has set forth;
to the world. To my horror.

Take the time to speak of your beautiful, treacherous, independence as
you douse the lights and turn down the covers.
And I agree with every word.

Because in these moments
when everything is possible
the end has already been written.

It breaks my heart to laugh with you
and it makes you uncomfortable
that you feel so at home with me.

If time wrote the past in strokes of compassion on the memory the soul
wouldn’t fear it.
And pride wouldn’t be forced to force “reality”
down our throats dissing illusion if only to ‘protect’ our hearts.

And as our senses dull to the brilliant shine of possibility
the possibility of something that might work
gets blurred by impatience and lack of faith,
in people,…
In ourselves.

And in those few awkward and unnecessary phone calls that follow I
will know why.
And you will know why we don’t work.

But for tonight-

Let’s speak of the need to be sober in love. And imbibe the reasons for
why
we’ve failed in a series of allusions to some common thought and
inference. Let’s share in the drowning of those shared emotions,
as we move further away from what we’ve always sought. Because as we
gladly watch our cynicism grow drunk and faithless, the sparks-
the similarities between us-
fade too in a feeling of familiarity that whispers ” a match…” before
it’s gone

Desire and need get “blurred” with objectivity and the many reasons why
you
And I
Deserve better.
I’ll trade you a “how could she?” for a “why would he?”

And as the wine turns time on it’s side and the reason that brought two
such
Splendidly, similar people together slips into the past we can speed a
lifetime of understanding into the vacuous hours of this night and live
a lifetime of possibility til dawn

AND,
If I find your arms familiar at daybreak,
If I kiss you’re forehead and slip back to sleep-

Will you let me?

If I don’t ask YOU for more-
Will YOU do it for me?

Please…

If I answer the phone will you call back? again?
If I call you first will you respect me?
What if I then make you wait?

How many days does it buy me?

Us?

“Bring Them to Me”

Bring them to me. Let me breathe their scent. Melt in their warmth and be important again.

Give me the sense of a simpleton to know what soft skin and questions are worth.

Make my dull mind a genius if it means I’ll change. Understand love and people.

            That the value of the equation is greater than the sum of the parts of transient things

NO- than the best result the catalysts the world offers may yield.

Bring them to me to wrap myself around them and feel every inch of them. As if wrapped in good and purity.

So that I can be for those moments washed pure and made good.

Give me their eyes, glistening, sun like with wisdom of kings and ages so that I can again understand life and suffering.

Hand me their hearts so their strength can be palpable and I can recognize the power in every beat of will and resilience. They’ve withstood my pain with the courage of warriors who come back again and again. And again.

Watch me run – the coward. Selfish and afraid. Confused by nothing. Filled with everything and feeling empty.

Study this fool, this idiot, and learn.

Learn what not to do.