If I take you to dinner will you take me to bed?
If I take you to church will you forgive me?
If I let you sleep in will you cook me breakfast?
If I answer the phone will you call back?
Again?
Take this dance and make it as awkward and unnecessary as the future
called “the morning after.”
Take my hopes
and scream them aloud
in the wake of every failure, of every destruction of dream my dream of
love has set forth;
to the world. To my horror.
Take the time to speak of your beautiful, treacherous, independence as
you douse the lights and turn down the covers.
And I agree with every word.
Because in these moments
when everything is possible
the end has already been written.
It breaks my heart to laugh with you
and it makes you uncomfortable
that you feel so at home with me.
If time wrote the past in strokes of compassion on the memory the soul
wouldn’t fear it.
And pride wouldn’t be forced to force “reality”
down our throats dissing illusion if only to ‘protect’ our hearts.
And as our senses dull to the brilliant shine of possibility
the possibility of something that might work
gets blurred by impatience and lack of faith,
in people,…
In ourselves.
And in those few awkward and unnecessary phone calls that follow I
will know why.
And you will know why we don’t work.
But for tonight-
Let’s speak of the need to be sober in love. And imbibe the reasons for
why
we’ve failed in a series of allusions to some common thought and
inference. Let’s share in the drowning of those shared emotions,
as we move further away from what we’ve always sought. Because as we
gladly watch our cynicism grow drunk and faithless, the sparks-
the similarities between us-
fade too in a feeling of familiarity that whispers ” a match…” before
it’s gone
Desire and need get “blurred” with objectivity and the many reasons why
you
And I
Deserve better.
I’ll trade you a “how could she?” for a “why would he?”
And as the wine turns time on it’s side and the reason that brought two
such
Splendidly, similar people together slips into the past we can speed a
lifetime of understanding into the vacuous hours of this night and live
a lifetime of possibility til dawn
AND,
If I find your arms familiar at daybreak,
If I kiss you’re forehead and slip back to sleep-
Will you let me?
If I don’t ask YOU for more-
Will YOU do it for me?
Please…
If I answer the phone will you call back? again?
If I call you first will you respect me?
What if I then make you wait?
How many days does it buy me?
Us?
2 comments
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September 9, 2009 at 10:52 am
James Kim
Upon reading this piece, I have been left to feel as if this affection in relation to love is merely a temporary phase, that the time that as epic or steadfast for one, is only but empty and trite for another.
Consideration, compassion, heartfelt truth being questioned of its unique true character for some in a sense strikes a sense of fear that no matter how strong or emotional that I, as an individual am feeling now or have ever experience for myself before in the past, that once again what I anticipated to be true has yet been another deviation of what it really means to be loved.
Please tell me if I am wrong.
Let me know if there is more for me to learn.
Is this too much to ask for?
September 9, 2009 at 3:08 pm
xrystle
this is about the moments of “possibility” when two people meet. those glimpses of foreshadowing that bring the future into the present and watch it spin around them as they get to know each other. about the moments when those possibilities settle into nothing and the beginning ends before it had a chance. and as they dance out the last few notes of their encounter, they live a lifetime in an if. and answer it, and say goodbye. so it’s love in its truest sense. in the beginning stages, before it becomes selfish and wants to be loved in return.